School has been so stressful! Acting, speech, bio and nutrition arent that bad but accounting is killer! I need it for my major but this one project I have has caused countless nights of no sleep, unintentional weight loss, hair loss, stress, you get the point. Its terrible! I mean Im averaging a B-/B but its not acceptable in my book especially since I live in the tutoring/ extra help center four days a week sometimes for a few hours at a time, I should be getting at least an A but its really nothing to stress about. Im doing all I can really!
As you may be aware, the east coast was hit really badly by Hurricane Sandy. I live in Jersey and the beloved Jersey Shore took a beating. Part of my state are still without power, some even without home. My parents and brother were without electricity for FIVE DAYS! My boyfriend still doesnt have power so his family has a generator going but they still havent been able to have a home cooked meal. With that came a lot of money wasted due to food having to be thrown out, as well as those with generators had to wait on long lines for gas and some were even turned away due to gas stations running out of gas. The thing was many stations ran out of gas or they simply didnt have electricity so they remained closed. Gov. Christie issued a gas rationing which seemed to have NJ in a 1973 mind state. Odd-evening rations were something I had only read about in my history class and now Im living through it. Im lucky to say that I dorm on campus so the need for a car is minimal and thus I dont have to worry about filling up my tank, my car is safely home. I also had heat, running hot water and electricity while millions of East Coasters were without all these basic necessities. Many times I feel that I have it worse than so many people but in the aftermath of Sandy, Im grateful for all that I have and that I still have a house that I can call home. Many people especially those who live down the shore or in Staten Island arent so lucky. My heart breaks for those who have lost it all. Sometimes God gives us all we can handle and other times more so. In situations like this, I wish I could do more than just a clothing donation or a donation of a dollar but its knowing in my heart that I could at least give back some how to someone who's in need.
On a side note, I made an appointment with my Doctor and went back to see my RD. I had blood work done about 2-3 weeks ago and my RD made up a meal plan. For my height, Im underweight as a result of a restrictive anorexic/over exercising relapse. College stress and the constant thoughts in my mind arent helping me to recover. I feel like I might take a few steps one day then something stresses me out, usually school or my roommate hanging out with my old roommate constantly, and then I take 20 steps back, over exercise and restrict. Im determined to recover. Ana seems to have crept back into my life again since she showed her ulgy face 6 years ago and as much as I dont want to part from her, I want a healthy life. I want to excel in my studies, get a college degree and get a job, get married and have a child, Ive always said adopting one because I never know the damage Ive done by not eating and not having my cycle for months on end. This time I truly am ready to recover, in the past I had to due to my parents intervention and me basically being forced to get treatment.
"I'm not telling you it will be easy, I am telling you it is worth it."
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